DEAR DEIDRE: I’M in a passionate relationship with a man who is caring and kind, but another woman is about to have his baby and I’m worried he’ll drop me like a hot potato.
He says he wishes so much it was me having his baby next month and he’s talked of marriage, but what the hell should I do?
I’m 24 and I met him last August when he delivered a sofa from a local charity shop. He’s 26.
We chatted and fixed up a date which turned out to be the best night of my life.
We began going out and the sex was out of this world.
I met his mates and it all felt so right.
Then a friend of his gave me a hint that I wasn’t the only girl in his life “ . . . but you didn’t hear it from me”.
I confronted him as soon as I could but he said it was no-one else’s business.
I told him I wouldn’t see him again.
I was gutted and sent him lots of abusive messages.
Then about six months ago we met again by chance and he said he was sorry for not being honest with me and I said I was sorry for sending those texts.
He claimed that the “thing” with that woman was just a short fling, so we picked up the pieces and started again.
But I was hit by a bombshell again when a mate of mine said this other woman is pregnant and that my partner is the dad.
I finished with him again but he called me and said the woman had dumped him for good, which he said was a blessed relief.
He said they didn’t get on and she’d treated him very badly.
He said he’d be there for his child but that he and this woman were over for good.
So I went back to having sex with him and he’s told me it’s not just about sex, he loves me and he’s bought me a ring. We get closer each day.
The one problem is that he’ll soon be a dad and I fear he’ll have less time for me when the baby arrives.
He admits that a baby will change his whole life and he “doesn’t know which way it will go”.
I love him so much but what should I do?
DEIDRE SAYS: Becoming a dad really should change his life and I hope that his child will be high up in his priorities, even right at the top.
Are you ready to share? Are you willing to go a bit further and to work on building a relationship with the child yourself?
If the answer is no, then I reckon you will find yourself on the sidelines.
But this man has not played straight with you or with the mum of his child and I doubt he will change.
He sounds to be hedging his bets already over whether he might go back so they can be a family together.
I know you’ve fallen for him but you’re writing to me because you’re uneasy.
My advice has to be not to invest all your hopes and your love in someone whose word you really can’t trust.
Credits: Deidre Sanders
The Sun
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