The man I'm having an affair with is also cheating with my friend's daughter

DEAR DEIDRE: MY lover has been having an affair with my friend’s daughter all the time he’s been having an affair with me. I’m devastated.

I’ve been married for 28 years but my husband, who runs a recycling business, hasn’t had time for me in years. I’m just his cook and housekeeper. He is 53 and I am 48. Since my two kids left home, I feel even more lonely.

His best mate from school is totally different. He’s never earned much or stuck at one job for long but he always has a joke and a cheeky smile.

He happened to call round one day a year ago to see my husband when I was feeling down. It was 9pm and my husband still wasn’t home from work — as usual. I felt so rejected.

A consoling cuddle turned into a kiss. The next time he came round, he was suqre my husband would be out all day. We ended up having sex.

He is married, too — for the third time — but it was good to feel wanted again and we’ve been having sex ever since.

A good friend came round last week saying she wanted my advice. She confided in me that her daughter, who is 23, has been having an affair since last year.

It turns out her lover is the same guy. I tried to hide my shock but I couldn’t wait to get her out of the house to have a good cry.

I confronted my lover. He didn’t deny it but claimed I had no rights over him. I said: “But your wife does.” He went straight home and told her about us.

She threw him out for a week but has now taken him back. I can’t tell her about my friend’s daughter because my mate would never forgive me. I can’t handle this. My husband has no idea what is going on. He hasn’t even noticed I’m upset.

DEIDRE SAYS: What a shocking discovery. I am afraid your lover’s cheeky smile disguises an empty heart. You are right to turn your back on him – and his other victims.

Instead, focus on your own life and your marriage. Tell your husband that you two are so far apart you might as well be single. Is that what he wants? He would find running his business far more of a struggle without your support at home.

Is there a way you could be involved in his business life? Could he carve out at least two evenings a week for you to do something interesting together?

My e-leaflet Your Relationship MoT can help. But also look to pack your time with interesting activities so you are not looking to him – or to any man – for appreciation all the time.

Credits: Deidre Sanders

The Sun