DEAR DEIDRE: FOUR years ago in Spain I met a beautiful girl who
was also on holiday. We had an instant attraction and we drank beer,
kissed . . . and then had sex on the beach.
I knew straight away that she was the one for me — but she
told me she’d just started dating a guy back in England who is older than her
and much richer than me.
“Just my luck”, I thought. We still exchanged numbers as
we’re both from London and I thought that there might still be hope.
She was 22 then and I was 19. When we got back from Spain I
kept messaging her and we got in the pattern of meeting for sex every couple of
weeks. She was still seeing the older guy too but it seemed like she wasn’t too
sure about who to be with.
I told her she should be with me. I didn’t see her for a
bit, then she texted to tell me that I should forget about her as she’d married
that guy. I’m not one to ever give up so I texted back saying: “One day you’ll
realise you made the wrong choice. Until then I’m waiting for you.”
While I was waiting I passed the time seeing some other
girls. They were keen but they didn’t come close to matching her and I knew I
was just marking time.
Sure enough, she soon contacted me and we’ve been seeing
each other since then, which is great, even though she is married. After all
these years, she is still the one girl that I love.
She’s called to me to say that she’s pregnant and knows it’s
a girl. I know in my bones I’m the dad but obviously the husband does not
suspect a thing.
What do I do as I want to be there for my baby? I’m not rich
but I do have a job. I love this woman so much and I know she loves me. Surely
now is the time to be sharing our lives so we can be mum and dad to our own
little girl.
DEIDRE SAYS: That is your dream but it isn’t what your lover
wants. Sadly for you, as she isn’t your wife, you don’t hold many cards.
How do you know you’re the dad? Her husband believes that
it’s him and he must know how babies are made. Is it just wishful thinking on
your part, perhaps?
The one way to be sure about this is by having a DNA test
when the baby is born. This can’t be done without the mother’s consent, which I
doubt she’d be willing to give.
It’s time to back off from this girl. It’s not you she’s
chosen to spend her life with. You’re her bit on the side, but that has been
your choice.
Don’t you think you should ask yourself why you have lived
for a dream, rather than choosing someone who can give all her love. Did that
seem safer, perhaps?
Be glad that you’re free to move on with your life. You can
also be glad that the baby will have a good home with both a mum and a dad.
Credits: Deidre Sanders
The Sun
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