I had sex with a salesman in the back of his car despite having a boyfriend — all because of my low confidence

DEAR DEIDRE: I HAD a stupid one-night stand at my work leaving do with, a guy I don’t even like. He is a jerk but my confidence is low and, when I feel this way, I do reckless things.

Even worse, I am dating somebody from the company already. My boyfriend is in accounts.

He’s 28 and really nice but he was off sick on my last day and wasn’t there to keep me on the straight and narrow.

I am 23 and worked as a receptionist at a car dealership for four months. But sales are down and I lost my job.

I’m applying for other work but worry I won’t find anything.

My leaving drinks were fun and we went on to a club. One of our salesmen came on to me in his shiny suit. He’s 38, divorced and has fancied me since day one.

He has a reputation for going with anyone with a pulse . . . and I fell for his act.

We were dancing and having a laugh, then went outside for a cigarette. He persuaded me to sit in his car when it started to rain. He kissed me and I didn’t push him away — or stop him when he put his hand up my top. We moved into the back of his car and he was all over me.

I let him do as he wanted and we had sex. It wasn’t great and we didn’t use protection. I’m not on the Pill and such an idiot.

Things are OK with my boyfriend. We’ve been dating for two months and have a good sex life. We’ve met each others’ families but I’m not sure where it’s going.

Now I’m worried about STIs and pregnancy as well as cash.

If my boyfriend finds out I’ve cheated, he will be horrified — especially because of who it was with.

When I have low confidence and anxiety, I have this habit of making poor decisions. Please help me.

DEIDRE SAYS: Don’t panic but do tackle the worries about sexual infection and pregnancy first – and do so urgently.

There are two types of so-called “morning after” pill. One you can take up to five days after unprotected sex, one up to three days, though both are more likely to be effective the earlier you take them. Or a doctor or nurse can fit an IUCD up to five days afterwards. You also need to go to a sexual health clinic for a check and treatment if need be.

Then look at why you behave so recklessly when you are feeling low. Is it because you are more likely to drink too much? In that case, just stopping drinking alcohol could make a big difference.

If it is that stress eats into you, learning self-help and relaxation techniques could help you calm yourself rather than acting wildly. My e-leaflets Self-Help For Stress and Help For Job-Hunters can both help.

Is the guy you had sex with likely to tell tales? If so, you are better telling your boyfriend yourself first. Hopefully he cares enough to be understanding.

Credits: Deidre Sanders
The Sun