DEAR DEIDRE: I HAD sex with my partner’s best mate every
Thursday for a month.
It was stupid because I really love my boyfriend.
Now I am pregnant and I don’t know who the father is.
This friend always flirted with me. He has a girlfriend but
never stopped making a play for me.
I asked him not to as I didn’t want to hurt anybody but he
took no notice and eventually wore me down.
The guys are both 26 and I am 23.
He kept on saying how sexy I am and that no one would get
hurt.
He also told me what my partner didn’t know wouldn’t hurt
him, that I knew I wanted it, and so on.
In the end I agreed to go round to his place — but just for
a drink so we could talk about how we both felt.
My partner and his mate’s girlfriend are both in retail and
work late on Thursdays.
So it was easy for me and this mate to go to his place when
they weren’t around. Of course he talked me into bed once I got there.
The first couple of times the sex felt amazing. But after a
few weeks I came to my senses.
I felt sick at what I had been doing and I told him clearly
it had to stop right there and then.
During this time I was still sleeping with my partner as if
nothing was going on. We’ve been together for five years and have a regular sex
life.
My partner is over the moon about my pregnancy. I’m five
months along now.
I told his friend too but he just shrugged his shoulders and
wanted to continue with our secret affair.
I told him where to go as the last thing I wanted was sex
with him.
Now I have told my partner about his mate. We are staying
together and having DNA tests once the baby is born.
I so want the baby to be my partner’s and hate myself for
giving in to his friend.
DEIDRE SAYS: It is great that your partner is staying with you,
at least for now.
But is he only staying in case the baby is his?
Is he planning to leave you if DNA tests prove his mate to
be the father?
Try to work on your relationship during the months you still
have before the birth.
Of course it was totally wrong of you to cheat but there
must have been some shortcoming in your relationship for you to be vulnerable
to his mate’s flirting.
If your partner can understand his own share of
responsibility, maybe he could focus less on who is the baby’s biological
father and more on how special you are as a couple – and how happily he
welcomed the idea of having a child together.
Please keep me posted but, above all, I hope your baby
arrives safely.
Credits: Deidre Sanders
The Sun
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