DEAR DEIDRE: I
VOLUNTEERED to help with my son’s school football team and now I’m having a
full-on affair with the coach. I know I should be strong and walk away but it’s
the most passionate sex I’ve ever had.
I’m 38 and my son is 14. His dad is 41 and we are happily
married but I guess we’d fallen into a bit of a rut and take each other for
granted.
The school asked for volunteers to help with the football
team last September and I said I’d do the secretarial work involved as well as
some washing and organising things like food and away matches.
My lover is also a dad at the school. He played amateur
football to a high level so got involved with the team as soon as his son
started at the school.
He is 36, very good-looking and in great shape.
We had to liaise over all sorts of things and grew closer as
the weeks went by. When we got back after Christmas we admitted how much we’d
missed one another. We kissed and it was like an electric shock.
We found an excuse to spend a night together the following
weekend and the sex was mind-blowing – and has been ever since, though it’s not
easy to keep lying to our partners. We survive between times we can have sex by
sending one another sexy messages.
He once sent his wife a message meant for me but managed to
talk his way out of it. Someone called my husband and told him I was cheating
but he believed me when I said it was just malicious gossip.
One bit of me was relieved, one bit regretful as I think,
given the chance, I would leave my husband for my lover.
I have tried to break it off but he always says, “You know
you don’t really mean that” and tells me how much he loves me.
DEIDRE SAYS: He may say that but I bet it would be a whole
different story if you actually did leave your husband and expected him to
break up his family too.
He is enjoying the sexy messaging and the sex, but he’s not
suggesting you two become an open couple.
And just think of the horrible upheaval that would cause –
for your two sons and in your lives, let alone your partners’.
Be strong now for everyone’s sakes. Stop the affair and be
firm when your lover tries to talk you round. Challenge him over whether he
would want your relationship to come out into the open. I think his reaction
will help you accept this is a dead-end affair.
Make it easier for yourself by focusing on your marriage.
Tell your husband you worry you have been taking one another for granted and
both need to put fresh energy into your relationship.
Credits: Deidre Sanders
The Sun
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