- Tunde Mabinuori
1.
Appreciation
of him: Behind every great man is a great woman. Biographies of great men
have proven and demonstrated that admiration of strength and capabilities often
spur a man to greater heights.
A man needs the following:
a. Appreciation
of his appearance:
I once asked a woman “what was the last thing you said to your husband
this morning?” “I will give you trouble if you come back late today”, she
replied.
“And what do you think his cute secretary will tell him first thing this
morning?” I asked.
She gasped as she realized the import of what I had just said. The
secretary will most likely wish him a good morning and commend his appearance.
My ego always gets boosted whenever my wife compliments my dressing. At
times she doesn’t say anything, but she communicates her approval by looking me
over.
b.
Appreciation
of his skills and talents:
Women should learn to complement their husbands’ skills. A woman once
told me that when her husband completed a complicated mechanical work on his
car, he called her to come and view his handiwork. Despite the fact that she
knew little about engines, she still went ahead to compliment him on a job well
done. The glow on his face showed that he really appreciated the comment. When
men receive regular and genuine affirmation from their wives (not flattery, by
the way), they become much more secure and confident in all areas of their
lives.
2.
A man
needs respect: It is the duty of the woman to build her husband in front of
others. Showing respect for the husband really helps to build his ego and
reduce the emotional burden of providing for their family. It’s not a burden they’ve
chosen to bear. Men are simply wired with this burden. As such, it is never far
from their minds and can result in the feeling of being trapped. While wives
cannot release their husbands from this burden, they can relieve it through a
healthy dose of appreciation, encouragement and support.
3.
A man
needs support and approval: Most men have high goals and expectations for
the future and when things don’t go the way they desire, moodiness, depression
and discouragement set in. A woman has the power to restore the broken pieces
of a man’s soul.
A woman
needs to be able to nudge her husband to success. A man, who was a boxer, was
the underdog in one of his fights. At a particular point in the fight when he
had taken so much battering and people expected him to give up, he kept on doggedly
and went ahead to win the fight by knocking out his opponent. After the fight,
one of his friends asked him what had made him to go on despite being the
underdog.
“Most
of you didn’t see my wife by the
side of the ring looking straight
into my eyes and urging me to go ahead and beat my opponent”, the man replied.
4.
Men need
sexual fulfillment: Research has shown that the reason men want more sex
than women is because of their strong need to be desired by their wives. Men
simply need to be wanted. Regular, fulfilling sex is critical to a man’s sense
of feeling loved and desired. When men feel their wives desire them sexually,
it has a profound effect on the rest of their lives. It gives them an increasing
sense of confidence and well-being that carries over into every other area of their
lives. The flipside of this coin also carries a profoundly negative effect.
When a husband feels rejected sexually, he not only feels his wife is rejecting
him physically, but that she is somehow rejecting him as a husband, provider
and man. That is why making sex a priority in marriage is so incredibly
important!
Pastor Tunde
Mabinuori is the Minister-in-Charge, Rhema Chapel International Church, Oluyole
Estate, Ibadan
e-mail: tundemabinuori@gmail.coom
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