Tunde Mabinuori
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1. Be Prepared: And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I
will make an help meet for him” (Gen. 218)
From this scripture above, God already had it in his plan to
get Adam a help meet. God knows every man needs one, but He never gives him the
woman until the man feels a need for her. In verse 20 of the same chapter, Adam
confirmed his need for the woman “And Adam gave names to all cattles and to
the fowls of the air and to every beast of the field but for Adam there was not
found an help meet for him”. The word “found” in this scripture
indicates that a search was embarked upon which convinced God that Adam had
identified the need for a help meet for himself. God will only move to organize your potential
wife/husband around you when He sees that you are indeed ready and willing to
have one.
These are some of the ways in which you can prepare
yourself:
a. As
a man, you must be responsible. Get a job or engage in something meaningful
that can yield profit for you and enable you take the leadership role in your
home.
b. As
a lady, develop yourself. Learn homemaking skills. Let the potential man see
the virtues of a Proverbs 31 woman in you.
c. Develop
the maturity of someone who wants to get married. Let the fruits of the spirit
be seen in you always. I once heard the story of a man who proposed to a lady.
After some weeks, the lady was considering acceding to his requests. One
fateful day however, they both found themselves in the same vehicle with the
man at the steering wheel. An oncoming
driver drove roughly in front of them nearly causing an accident.
The man just
jumped out of the car and beat the other driver to a point of stupor. The lady
was frightened and immediately, she rescinded her decision of agreeing to the
proposal. The conclusion she came to was that the man would deal with her the
same way if she offended him.
d. Be
intelligent. Read books and get engaged in intellectual pursuits. No one wants
to marry a dullard. A woman once complained to her Pastor, “My husband is a yes
man. He says yes to anything I say. He never has any contrary opinion”.
2. Discover Yourself: A philosopher once
said that the greatest thing an individual can do for himself is to know
himself. Once a man knows himself, then half of his life’s problems are solved.
In Genesis 2: 19-20, Adam knew himself and what he was looking for. He didn’t
find what he was looking for in the chimpanzee, the elephant or the buffalo.
After searching through the animals and finding none, he still didn’t settle
for second best. He didn’t say “since I can’t find what I want, I will accept
the female monkey, at least it looks a little like me”.
So in verse 23 when he saw the woman, he
said “This is the bone of my Bone and
flesh oof my Flesh”.
If indeed you know your bone and your flesh
you should be able to recognize it when you see it anywhere. For some, the
interest level as to who their spouse should be changes from time to time.
Every likeable new acquaintance now becomes the model of whom to marry. They do
not really know themselves or what they are looking for.
(The problem with many Christians today is
their inability to introspect and find out who they really are). Also, you must
know your areas of strength and weakness and pray for and choose a partner that
will best complement you.
3. Have a Purpose and Focus: Every man and
woman should have a sense of purpose and direction. The opposite sex will get
attracted more to a man or woman that has a bearing than to one who does not
know where he or she is going. One of the things that endeared my wife to me in
the early days of our relationship was the sense of direction and purpose she
saw in me. She read through some of my private writings and she was fascinated
by what she read. And then she felt more secured about the future.
4. Be the right person: Many single
Christians often set standards (at times unrealistic ones) as to what the
person they want to marry should be like. That is why the phrase Mr. Right and
Miss Right is common among singles. The phrase is often used to refer to the
ideal man or woman they want to marry. I was once told about a lady who had
advanced in age and was desperately looking for Mr. Right. She was however so
foul-mouthed that her command of dirty language would make garage boys green
with envy. Funny enough, she desired someone that was mild mannered and a
complete gentleman. Of course, she only managed to attract men like herself. If
you are not right, you can’t get the right person. As much as possible,
concentrate on being the right person.
While standards are good, singles should as much as possible be
rational. I once heard of a joke about a lady who went to a computer dating
agency and punched in her requirements for her Mr. Right. She was a precise
person and knew exactly what she wanted. She wanted someone who was tall,
hairy, an avid sportsman and also a vegetarian. The computer searched through
its database and came up with a response. It sent her pictures and profile of a
Gorilla.
5. Seek the face of God: Learn to seek the
face of God. Pray earnestly about your expectations concerning the person you
intend to marry. A lady once had an experience which she couldn’t fathom at the
time it happened. At a period in her life when she didn’t have a relationship
and was not yet ready for one, the spirit of God woke her up one night and told
her to start praying for her future spouse. She was confused yet she obeyed. She
had the experience four times before she eventually met her husband. It was
during her courtship that she shared the experience and the dates it happened
with the man. The man, who was a soldier, was totally dumbfounded and then he
narrated to her that those dates were periods when he had been on the battle
front and and had despaired for his soul, but through what he called miracles,
he survived. God actually woke the woman up to save the man’s life.
You may not hear any voice from God, but
start praying for him/her now.
Pastor Tunde Mabinuori is the Minister-in-charge, Rhema Chapel, Oluyole Estate,
Ibadan email
e-mail: tundemabinuori@gmail.com
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