Stress, relationship problems, poor sleep, or even hormones
can put a damper on your libido. Try these tips to get your engine revving
again.
Stress
Some people do many things well when they're stressed.
Feeling sexy usually isn't one of them. Stress at work, home, or in
relationships can happen to anyone. Learning how to handle it in a healthy way
really helps. You can do a lot of it yourself, and a counselor or doctor can
also help.
Partner Problems
Problems with your partner are among the top sex-drive
killers. For women, feeling close is a major part of desire. For both sexes,
watch for fallout from fights, poor communication, feeling betrayed, or other
trust issues. If it's tricky to get back on track, reach out to a couples
counselor.
Alcohol
A drink may make you feel more open to sex. But too much
alcohol can numb your sex drive. Being drunk can also be a turn-off for your
partner. If you have trouble drinking less, seek help.
Too Little Sleep
If your sexual get-up-and-go is gone, maybe you're not
getting enough sleep. Do you go to bed too late or rise too early? Do you have
a sleep problem like trouble falling or staying asleep, or a condition such as
sleep apnea? Anything that messes with a good night's rest can mess with sex.
Fatigue saps sexy feelings. Work on your sleep habits, and if that doesn't
help, talk to your doctor.
Having Kids
You don't lose your sex drive once you're a parent. However,
you do lose some time to be close with kids under foot. Hire a babysitter to
nurture some time to be partners as well as parents. New baby? Try sex during
baby's nap time.
Medication
Some drugs can turn down desire. They include some of these
types of medications:
- Antidepressants
- Blood pressure medications
- Birth control pills (some studies show a link; others don't)
- Chemotherapy
- Anti-HIV drugs
- Finasteride
Switching drugs or dosages may help -- ask your doctor about
that and never stop taking any medicine on your own. Tell your doctor, too, if your
sex drive stalls soon after you start taking a new drug.
Poor Body Image
Feeling sexy is easier if you like how you look. Work on
accepting your body as it is today, even if you're working to get in shape.
Feeling good about yourself can put you in the mood. If your partner has low
esteem, assure them that they're sexy.
Obesity
When you're overweight or obese, desire often dims. It could
be that you don't enjoy sex, can't perform like you want to, or are held back
by low self-esteem. Working on how you feel about yourself, with a counselor if
needed, may make a big difference.
Erection Problems
Men with ED (erectile dysfunction) often worry about how
they will be able to perform sexually, and that worry can drain their desire.
ED can be treated, and couples can also work to keep it from affecting their
relationship.
Low T
The "T" hormone, testosterone, fuels sex drive. As
men age, their T levels may drop a bit. Not all lose the desire for sex as this
happens, but some do. Many other things -- from relationships to weight -- also
affect a man's sex drive and testosterone levels, so there's not a
one-size-fits-all answer for every man.
Depression
Being depressed can shut off pleasure in many things,
including sex. That's one of many reasons to get help. If your treatment
involves medication, tell your doctor if your sex drive is low, since some (but
not all) depression drugs lower sex drive. Talk about it with your therapist,
too.
Menopause
For many women, sex drive dims around menopause. That's
partly about symptoms such as vaginal dryness and pain during sex. But every
woman is different, and it's possible to have a great sex life after menopause
by tending to your relationship, self-esteem, and overall health.
Lack of Closeness
Sex without feeling close can slay desire. Intimacy is more
than just sex. If your sex life is idling, try spending more non-sexual
time together, just the two of you. Talk, snuggle, trade massages. Find ways to
express love without having sex. Getting closer can rebuild your sex drive.
Source: Web MD
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