DEAR DEIDRE: MY wife said she wants a divorce but she still loves me and does not want to hurt me. I feel very confused.
It’s our 14th anniversary next month, having been together for 17 years. We never argue and have had more good times than bad.
I worry how this will affect our two kids.
My wife is 45, I am 46.
I have noticed she has been down lately and think she may have depression.
She agreed a lot of symptoms apply but she refuses to talk to anyone.
I can’t grasp her decision but I love her.
Even if we are over I want her to seek help.
DEIDRE SAYS: If she has been coming to a decision that she wants a divorce then that process can be emotionally exhausting.
Rather than trying to diagnose her, hear what she is saying about why she wants a divorce.
Suggest couple counselling together.
It won’t necessarily fix a broken relationship but will help you separate as painlessly as possible, especially for the children – and your wife is more likely to accept she needs support if you show the way.
Credits: Deidre Sanders
The Sun
Your wife’s mixed feelings suggest inner struggles, possibly depression. Encourage open communication and consider couples counseling to understand her decision and prioritize the children’s well-being. If she refuses help, focus on your emotional health and supporting the family through this transition.
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