My Lover and My Girlfriend are Pals But Don’t Realise I’m Sleeping With Them Both


DEAR DEIDRE
: I AM having awesome sex with a woman I met at work but I already have a girlfriend.

The two of them have now got to know one another but don’t realise that I’m having sex with them both. I could be in big trouble soon.

I  am a guy aged 26 and my girlfriend is 24. We’ve been together for two years and it’s a strong relationship. She’s the sort of woman I can see myself marrying one day.

This new woman started at my work a year ago and we instantly hit it off. She’s 23. We flirted and then began texting one another.

She is smart, beautiful and funny. We would meet after work and go for drinks and somehow one night we ended up back at her flat.

I’m the average hot-blooded guy. One thing led to another and we had sex. It was amazing and left us both exhausted.

We have been meeting for sex ever since and it is awesome, but she doesn’t know I have a girlfriend.

She thinks I still live with my parents and I tell my girlfriend I’m out with the guys from work when I see my lover.

I was managing to keep the two sides of my life separate but now my girlfriend has decided she needs to get back in shape and has started going to the same Pilates class that my lover goes to.

They have become quite friendly. I hate to think what will happen if all of this comes out. I worry that I could be outed and lose them both.

I know what I am doing is wrong but I can’t help myself. My lover is fun and she has a lot in common with me but I know my girlfriend is good for me.

I don’t know if I should come clean, end things with my girlfriend and give my lover a try in a proper relationship.

I still love my girlfriend. She deserves so much better, but I am very confused.

Is my colleague just a lust thing or could something more happen between us?


DEIDRE SAYS: You can help yourself. Being in a relationship doesn’t stop you fancying other people but acting on it is risky. 

Stop seeing the new woman for now, as you have no idea if that relationship would stay the course.

Tell her you need to get your head straight and sort things out with your girlfriend, one way or the other.

Are you just fickle and short on willpower, or are there gaps in your relationship that made you vulnerable to temptation? Can you strengthen it?

If your relationship has run its course, the longer you leave it to tell your girlfriend the truth the more hurt she will be in the long run.


Credits: Deidre Sanders 

                The Sun 

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