DEAR DEIDRE: I HAD a night of wonderful, morale-boosting, passionate sex with my son’s friend but now my son won’t talk to me.
I’m 43 and got divorced ten years ago after my husband left for another woman.
He went on to marry her and start a new family. My son, who is 20, sees his dad and says they are very happy.
When my son moved out to start university two years ago, I thought about finding another relationship.
Friends say I am still an attractive woman, but my husband said some cruel things when he left me — that I’m fat and ugly, that no man would want me and I’m just a lump in bed.
My son invited a uni friend his age over to stay for a few days after Christmas.
At the last minute, my son’s dad invited him to a family party and he was keen to go.
His dad said it wasn’t suitable for his friend to go but this lad said he didn’t mind staying at our place with me.
Once my son had left, his friend and I settled down with some beers and wine.
I had no thoughts of anything sexual. He told me about his problems keeping relationships and I tried to give him some helpful life guidance.
This led to him asking about my marriage and I was honest about how demoralised my husband had left me feeling and how I’d lost all my body confidence.
He said he was surprised, as he found me a very attractive woman. He is a fit, intelligent and good-looking young man so it was great to hear.
I thought he was just trying to boost my confidence but he leaned over and kissed me.
Very quickly we were all over one another, then in my bed having passionate sex. It made me feel great.
We both felt a bit awkward in the morning and agreed never to tell my son, as it would hurt him.
My son arrived back at lunchtime and life rolled on.
My social life still hasn’t gone anywhere — it’s hard with all the virus restrictions — and it’s been good having my son home from university.
But then he met this same friend and a couple of others in our nearest city and they all got very drunk.
The friend blurted out to my son about our night of sex and he is furious.
He stormed back into the house the next day, called me all sorts of names and now won’t talk to me.
He takes his food to his room and slams the door in my face if I try to talk to him.
I feel so guilty and it’s breaking my heart.
DEIDRE SAYS: You are human and this young man offered you comfort.
Yes, it was probably a mistake but we all make mistakes.
Keep telling your son you are sorry to have embarrassed him but, for both your sakes, you need to talk.
No one died and this rift is hurting him as much as you.
You must feel very lonely, so confiding in a counsellor may help.
Credits: The Sun
Deidre Sanders
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