… and prefers sleeping with my pal
DEAR DEIDRE: I
HAD wonderful sex with my lover – then a week later he told me it was over as
he preferred sleeping with my friend.
We had been seeing each other for two years. He’s 32 and I’m
36. My husband was totally fine about me having a lover.
The sex with my lover
was amazing.
He’s 39 and he knew I needed to get more body-confidence
before we went swinging, which has been on his wish-list.
So, with his blessing, I looked for a man who was keen to
have sex and could fit in with my life as a mum of three young sons. I found
him online. The sex was amazing, we got to be friends and became close.
He then asked me to leave my husband as he wanted to be in a
full-time relationship with me. I refused and instead introduced him to a close
friend of mine who’s 29 and divorced. She thought he was fit but he told me she
wasn’t his type.
However, they’re both into keeping fit and met to go
running. A week later my lover surprised me by saying he wanted us to stop
having sex together but still to remain friends.
I knew I would miss the great sex and I was glad when he
dropped round to see me the next time my husband was working away.
The kids were upstairs but they always sleep well and so we
had sex in the lounge. He asked me not to tell my friend that we were still
having sex. I told him that I couldn’t lie to a friend and he admitted that he
is now “seeing” her and that she is “brilliant” in bed.
They seemed to expect we’d all stay friends, but I told them
they’d hurt me so I didn’t want to be friends with them.
Do I tell her that my lover told me she wasn’t his type or
that he was having sex with me the same week they got it on?
DEIDRE SAYS:
Presumably you introduced your friend to your lover with the idea of being a
matchmaker and getting the pressure off you.
It seems like your plan worked out well and yet you are
feeling used. My guess is your reasons relate to your marriage and, most
likely, to long before that. I suspect your husband’s desire to go swinging and
wanting you to take a lover will have damaged your already low self-esteem.
Credits: Deidre Sanders
The Sun
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