I’m having sex with my brother’s wife but I worry we might get caught

DEAR DEIDRE: I’M having a passionate affair with my brother’s wife and we love each other – but fear my brother finding out about us.

It began even before my brother and sister-in-law got married three years ago. He is a bully and I went round to their place one day to find her crying. I hugged her while she poured out how he had been treating her.

I felt for her so much, I kissed her — and she kissed me back. It was magic. The next time they had a row, she texted me and we met up. That time we ended up having sex in my car — and we have carried on being lovers ever since.

Our love has grown more and more. I am 29 and she is 30. She and my brother have two kids. She was too scared to call off her wedding, which hurt me although I understood.

The wedding day was agony for me, especially as my own relationship was also in deep trouble. I couldn’t stay with my son’s mother, it was a sham, and I left her. But then she got with another guy — who refused to take on my six-year-old son so I am now a full-time single dad.

It’s difficult but I keep at it, even though my life is made even harder by caring for my father who is now developing dementia. He is 63. My brother is his oldest son, aged 37, but doesn’t want to know. He’s so selfish. My sister and I take it in turns making sure Dad is OK and has all he needs.

I don’t begrudge him but most of my time goes on caring for my son and my father — and I have a job, too. So my relationship with my lover is the one point of joy in my life. Of course, I enjoy being with my son, too, but I always have to be the responsible one. When I’m with my lover, it’s the one time I get when I can feel young, free and in love.

I can’t give that up but we are both scared of what would happen if my brother realised about our affair. He can be violent — and that is why she’s been too scared to leave him.

DEIDRE SAYS: It’s likely to be just a matter of time before your brother does find out about this affair.

I understand how frightening it is for your lover to think of leaving him but it’s damaging for her and their children to be living in an atmosphere of fear and violence. Suggest to her that she work out a strategy to leave him safely, with help from the National Domestic Violence Helpline .

Once she is free, you can both decide if you want a full-time relationship and be open about it.

If your brother shows signs of still being controlling, be firm that you will report him to the police.

Credits: Deidre Sanders

The Sun