DEAR DEIDRE: WHEN I got to know my lover I thought I had met
the man of my dreams.
We were swept away by passion and he offered me everything.
We were both married but he asked me to live with him. He is
45 and I am 36. We both have teenage sons. I have two and he has one.
I dreaded telling my boys but I knew my heart belonged to my
lover.
He moved out of his home but it all went wrong. His son
refused to speak to him and he told me to stay put until he was ready.
I was still planning to leave but my lover went back to his
wife.
I am stuck with a husband I used to love but now hate. He is
42 and makes me cringe at bedtime. He demands kisses every night and tries to
touch me but I refuse anything further so he sulks.
My lover and I still see one another when we can and I love
him so much.
He says I should live an ordinary life at home, he even gave
me “permission” to give my husband sex, but how can I when he promised me the
world and then backed down?
DEIDRE SAYS: The longer you hang on and wait for this man to
have another change of heart, the more unhappy you will be. The truth is he’s
very unlikely ever to leave his family now.
Don’t look to him to be your saviour. Resolve to turn your
own life around.
Is your husband a bad man or just one you’ve fallen out of
love with?
Best stop seeing your lover and start working on your
marriage, either to rediscover what used to be good between you or call it a
day. My e-leaflet Your Relationship MOT can help.
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