I just don’t seem to turn her on any longer.
We have been together for 22 years and got into swinging a
year after we married. I loved seeing her with other guys and it was an amazing
time.
We still get on well during day-to-day life but sex hardly
ever happens. I am 44 now, she is 45, and we have sons of 17 and 15.
I still have a very high sex drive. I find my wife extremely
sexy but she never seems to want sex these days.
It is always me who starts it. She never comes on to me and
I want more.
Last month I found a sex toy in her bedroom drawer and have
been keeping an eye on it to see if she has been using it.
I looked on her e-reader the other day and she has endless
sex fantasy books on there.
That’s what led me to set up the webcam — which was a
revelation.
I thought I would try something different to get things
going again.
I took her out for a romantic meal but when we got home she
just said she was too tired for sex.
I am now assuming that I don’t turn her on any more and I
don’t know what to do. I feel horny all the time.
I want to have sex with her, but she only has sex with me
for my sake.
She says she loves me but if it’s left to her, we can go
months without sex and it is getting to the point where I’m not sure what to
do.
I have had offers of sex from other women but I love my wife
so much I don’t want to go that way.
DEIDRE SAYS: Have you no idea how creepy and perverted your
wife is going to find it that you set up a webcam to spy on her?
Yes, your wife should also be taking responsibility for you
sharing a mutually satisfying sex life but get rid of that camera now.
It is not solving anything and only fuelling your doubts.
And if your wife ever finds out about it, it would probably
spell the end of your sex life altogether – and maybe your marriage.
Tell your wife openly how dismayed you are that she no
longer seems to enjoy sex with you.
Promise to stay quiet and not get defensive while she
explains what changes you could make that would revive her interest in sex with
you.
Maybe you need to spend more time on arousing foreplay,
maybe you need to use fantasy more often.
My e-leaflet 50 Ways To Add Fun To Sex is specifically aimed
to help long-term couples keep the flames alive.
Credits: Deidre Sanders
The Sun
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