I HAVE been having a passionate affair with a man I had a crush on when I was 14. Now he has gone back to his wife and it feels like my life is over.
I am 32. I was bored one day so I started tracing old school friends on Facebook. I discovered the whereabouts of this older boy from school and contacted him.
I remembered him vividly. He was two years older than me and I don’t think he even noticed me back then, but I worshipped him.
We arranged to meet up to see what each of us is like now.
This was a bit frightening as I worried that what I have been through with my very abusive partner has aged me.
We met in a local coffee shop and he obviously thought I was lovely. I was bowled over and would have agreed to anything.
Our next meeting was at his house. His wife was away, so we had the place to ourselves.
I threw myself into his arms. He kissed me and the next thing I knew we were having passionate sex. I had almost forgotten what it was like.
Finding out that a man could still find me attractive gave me the courage to start planning to leave my partner. He is 46 and has always been a bully.
The affair with my lover went on for nearly three years and it transformed my life.
My family never knew where I went one afternoon a week or why a friend fetched my six-year-old son from school on that particular day. Then my lover’s partner found out. She threatened to cut contact with him if he
saw me again.
He has a teenage daughter and could not bear the thought of losing her, so he decided to go back to his partner.
I can understand why but I am finding it so hard. I miss him so much and my life is in limbo.
How can I get him out of my thoughts?
DEIDRE SAYS: It sounds as though you are still with your abusive partner.
Please don’t put up with this any longer – it is
damaging for you and for your little boy, who is
learning that this is how grown-up relationships are.
My e-leaflet Abusive Partner? explains where you can find support and safety.
I am afraid falling into the arms of a married man was never going to be the answer, but build on the confidence boost this affair has given you.
OK, your lover couldn’t bear to lose contact with his daughter but you know now you are an attractive woman who deserves so much better.
Get free and then you will be able to break out of this limbo and forge a fresh life for yourself, filled with the opportunity to make new friends and meet a new –available – partner.
(The Sun)
Comments
Post a Comment