Are you sabotaging your chances of obtaining a promotion or a new job? I’ve seen this happen to a lot of people, and here’s the catch – many don’t even realize they’re sabotaging themselves. Find out if you’re holding yourself back and how you can break free of internal negative thoughts.
“I never seem to be the person chosen for a promotion,” my client told me. “I don’t know why I even bother to apply for other positions, since I know they’ll just give it to someone else and tell me I’m not qualified.”
Have you ever been frustrated in your career and thought something similar; that you’re not good enough so why even bother to apply for the job? That little voice we hear in our heads is known as “self-talk.” This internal voice can be positive or negative. Either way, it often turns into a self-fulfilling prophecy.
For my client, it meant she stopped looking for jobs that were more challenging, while her frustrations kept building up as she worked in a position where she felt bored and not intellectually challenged. She had been told by a few hiring managers that she didn’t have the right qualifications, and her confidence level had taken a beating. On top of that, her little voice in her head had turned negative, telling her she wasn’t good enough and never would be.
Ouch! Life is hard enough without hearing things like that in your own head. So we worked on ways to get rid of those negative thoughts by changing them into pep talks:
Recognize the negative thought(s). Every time a negative thought about yourself pops into your head, recognize this self-sabotage behavior.
Write it down. Grab a pen and paper or your smart phone and write down the negative thought(s).
Flip it. Now, rewrite the negative comment into a positive pep talk. For example, “They’ll never choose me” or “I’m not qualified enough” becomes “I’m worthy of finding my dream job” or “I’m worthy of getting this promotion.”
My client realized that her internal negativity had been demotivating her and causing her to give up on her career dreams. Once she acknowledged these negative thoughts, wrote them down and then transformed them into pep talks, her outlook changed. She became proactive by analyzing her qualifications for each job and determining gaps. She spoke with successful people already in the positions she wanted and she even created a career development plan to close the gaps.
Her new attitude could also be seen by hiring managers during job interviews because she arrived much more prepared and self-confident than before. Taking control of her internal voice and stopping the negative thoughts allowed her to break free from self-sabotage – and she achieved her goal of being hired into a more challenging job.
You can do it too! If you realize that self-sabotage may be what’s holding you back from accomplishing your career goals, follow the three steps listed above. Take control of your internal voice and start giving yourself pep talks. Believe in yourself and all things become possible.
Lisa Quast, author of the book, Secrets of a Hiring Manager Turned Career Coach: A Foolproof Guide to Getting the Job You Want. Every Time
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