Tunde Mabinuori
Expectation and interest level of people change from age to
age. A boy of 10 years old, who was exceptionally excited and proud of a
bicycle gift as his tenth year birthday gift from his father, will at 16 years
of age be interested in his father’s car key.
The same goes for a woman’s expectations from her husband as
her age advances. The expectation of a 25 year old lady will be far different
from that of a woman of 45 years old.
Here basically, I will address the expectations that cut
across, to a large extent, all age groups.
1.
Good
Leadership
As far as the home setting is concerned,
the woman is made to follow. The man is the head of the woman. The husband must
be able to offer good leadership to the woman. Suggestions and good ideas may
come from the wife, but the man reserves the right to choose and give the
needed direction.
The woman is fulfilled and satisfied when
her husband offers good leadership and decisiveness at all times. A woman will
always feel more comfortable when she submits to a man of responsibility who
leads not only the wife but the entire family.
2.
To be a
godly man
“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of
wisdom” (Ps. 111:10). The key to the
wisdom needed to run the home well hangs on the man being a goodly person. To
be godly means to be pious and devout that is to have reverend fear for, and be
obedient to God and His word at all times. A woman feels safe and secured with
a husband who knows and fears God. The marriage relationship is protected and
preserved when the husband positions himself to be called to order and rebuked
by his spiritual oversight through the ministry of the Bible whenever he
misbehaves.
3.
Communication
A man needed to catch up with an appointment
early the next morning. Prior to that day, he and his wife had not been on
talking terms for about a week. Not willing to give up the deadlock between the
two of them by being the first to speak to the other party, he wrote a note at
the side of the wife’s bed. “When it is 5:00am, wake me up”.
Unfortunately, the next morning, the man
woke up some few minutes to 7:00am, and was very furious with his wife. In the
midst of his fury as he was getting out of bed, he noticed a little note around
the side of his bed. The note read ‘It is 5:00am wake up”.
This is a typical example of a marriage
relationship that lacks communication. A woman once said to me “Pastor, I
cannot stick living in the same house with a man who would not talk to me for
two weeks”. She went further, “I even prefer him beating me than the agony of him
not talking with me”.
A woman is in dire need of communication
especially with her husband. Most women cut off relationships or reduce
communication with their friends after they get married to their husbands. And
not to have the man communicating with them is a pain that cannot be
quantified. Lack of communication has brought doom to some homes. Talk issues
out with yourselves. The enemy is always in the business of misrepresenting
people before others.
4.
Sense of
humour
Humour means things that people say or
write that are funny or amusing. It is also the quality in something that makes
it funny or amusing. The Bible says in Prov. 15:13 “A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance, but by sorrow of the heart
the spirit is broken”.
In Prov. 17:22 the Bible says that
“A
merry heart doeth good like a medicine, but a broken spirit drieth the bones”. A
man with a sense of humour is not necessarily a professional comedian, but a
man that can express or appreciate what is funny and amusing. A man should give
out time to wind off in some expression of jokes and laughter. It is not all
the time that he should be stern and serious. There are some homes where the
children cannot sit together with their father to watch the TV. Every woman
wants a man who can cool off when he gets back home.
5.
A
Listener
There was this man (Mr. A) who got involved
in a conversation with two different people 9Mr. B & Mr. C) at different
times, on different occasions. After his encounters with these two people, he
was asked of his views of them. Commenting on Mr. B, he said the man was not a
good person to converse with because he was a good talker like himself and he seemed
to have something to say on every topic that was raised, thus dominating the
discussion. He however had something different to say about Mr. C, who he
described as a very good man. All Mr. C had done was to listen patiently, nod
his head in agreement where necessary and sigh at other times.
Every woman wants to end her day in talking
with her husband. Even if you are tired, as a man, it will do well for you to
listen to whatever she wants to say. By so doing, you will make her day and she
will forever celebrate you. Make it a practice as a man.
6.
To be
financially free
A woman may marry you the way you are, but
will not want you to remain the way you are. A woman expects he husband to be
financially responsible and care for the entire family. Lack of money is the
root of much family strain.
7. To be presentable
Every woman wants to stand with a sense of
pride beside her husband at any time. She would like to stand beside a
presentable man, one that cares about the way he looks. She expects her husband
to be physically fit, good looking and well-dressed at all times.
A lady once said that she will not consider
or accept a marriage proposal from a man who is not dressed in shirt and tie. She
may not be completely right in her decision but she is making a statement about
her expectation of a husband. And that is the fact that good grooming should
not be compromised.
8.
A lover
of his family
A woman expects her husband to love and
enjoy the company of the family. Some men stay out late and only come home
after the children are asleep. Women do not enjoy a man whose duty stops at
paying the bills and is never available to spend time with her and the
children. Every woman wants a family man.
9.
A man of
integrity
Every
woman wants her husband to be a man of his word. A man of honesty, one that
is loyal and faithful to his marriage vow. We are talking of a man of fidelity,
a man that is faithful and steadfast in the face of any temptation, a man who
will not renounce, desert, or betray his friend. A woman was once asked on a
national TV show if she would not mind to share her husband with another woman.
Her reply was a very sharp “No”. As she would be faithful to her vows, so also
she expected her husband to exhibit the same faithfulness.
10.
Emotionally
responsive
Every
woman expects her husband to be romantic. She loves and enjoys the
romantic, and sensual moves of her husband even though she acts sometimes as if
she is not interested.
Unfortunately
some men are so rigid and completely unromantic. Women like to be made to
feel special. She expects her husband to give the touch, spice, look etc. Don’t
deprive your wife the romantic touch, or else you provide an opportunity for
someone else to give it to her at her work place or in the neighbourhood.
Pastor Tunde Mabinuori is the
Minister-in-Charge, Rhema Chapel International Churches, Oluyole Estate,
Ibadan.
e-mail: tundemabinuori@gmail.com
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