Becoming a social worker was not my first choice of profession, but it has turned out to be one of the best decisions I ever made. I wanted to save the world by working in developing countries, promoting human rights and fair international relations, and generally being a hero. So I tried to get work in some of the large charities and organisations that pay people to do these things, but was unsuccessful.
It was one of the first times I faced a significant personal setback, and it knocked me hard. I started to sink into a kind of depression, where I alternately blamed myself for not being good enough to get the job I wanted, and society for not giving me what I deserved. Sometimes I even secretly blamed family and
friends for holding me back. I continued applying for these kinds of jobs for around three years, and with each rejection became more disillusioned and angry. My thoughts would get into a cycle of negativity. I became irritable, withdrawn and tearful, and my personal relationships suffered, as did the occasional piece of crockery.
The turning point was when I decided not to be angry any more, but to cut my losses and try to be happy in a different way. This meant deciding to give up on that particular dream and start again. Social work seemed a logical progression: it was still trying to make a positive difference, but doing so on a more human scale, starting from the grassroots upwards rather than the top down.
There is less prestige, less money, and less travel involved, but this makes it feel like a more honest, gritty kind of work. You can see change happening on an individual level, rather than trying to implement huge changes by writing campaigns or policy documents. Social work is really all about how to help people make positive changes in their own lives, and by studying it you can’t fail to notice how to make positive changes in yours.
Through my studies, and later my experiences working with people suffering from severe mental health conditions, I have learnt all kinds of valuable information and techniques that I relay to service-users to help them live with or improve their conditions. But the real value comes when you apply these lessons to yourself.
It’s easy to tell someone they need to focus on the positives and find things to enjoy, and then catch yourself moaning about conditions at work. It’s easy to talk about mindfulness but spend your whole time writing notes about previous visits and planning for the future ones instead of noticing the present. It’s easy to spot when someone else has become institutionalised and dependent on their role as a patient, but less easy to notice if you’re gaining a twisted pleasure out of seeing yourself as a rescuer. My job constantly forces me to question myself and reflect on my work, my values, and my life. It brings me up against people who are battling bigger problems, putting everything in perspective and showing the pitfalls anyone can fall into.
Social work isn’t just a career, it’s a lifestyle, and a lesson in responsibility and relentless optimism. Changing careers cost me a lot, and although thankfully I did not suffer as much as many do, I did have to acknowledge I had failed. But what I have gained so far is of enormous value: the realisation that the only person who can make you happy is yourself, so you had better get on with it.
Source: The Guardian
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